Raisins, vitiligo and other cruise stories

I'm. So. Sleepy.

Not just sleepy like, woo I need some coffee, but sleepy like I might have fallen asleep in the bathroom a minute ago. The cruise was a million tons of fun, but the exhaustion I'm feeling right now is akin to jet lag, and my flight was only 2 hours! WTF? Also, I'm sitting still, but strangely it feels as though my desk is swaying a little...

So here's a rundown of our days, and I'll try to follow it with some excerpts from my travel journal (do NOT laugh; if you've never done one when you travel, you totally should):

Thursday: Left RDU on time as scheduled, after lunch and a Viva Rita at some pricey airport restaurant. Smooth flight, landed in Miami and discovered that no one speaks English there, nor is there any other weather than 90 degree humidity.

Arrived at Mandarin Oriental after the hottest cab ride known to man, stuck in traffic on 95, and realized that Carrol's friend Liane is actually in charge of VIP relations. She gave us a quick tour of the hotel (include the infinity pool where Jennifer Aniston/John Mayer were caught smooching!) and then showed us to our suite. OMG. It's literally like no other place I've been. Ordinarily the suite runs for about $3000-$4000/night, but we paid $50 each. No lie. It had a bathroom and a half, a huge living room, chocolate sushi and strawberries upon our arrival and the most amazing view of downtown Miami from the 16th floor.

Quick dip in the pool, then off to dinner at Azul, where the restaurant manager sent over courses of hamachi and wild mushroom risotto before our dinner of crusted halibut. Amazing. We were so stuffed from our dinner and drinks that we crashed early. Highlights from that day: passing by the Miami PD, whose facade BB and I know well from watching "The First 48," and flirting with a 50 year-old French man who cooks. What more does a girl need in this world?

Friday: Breakfast at Cafe Sambal at the Mandarin, then on to the Port of Miami, where check-in was a breeze. Thankfully the customs lady appreciated my extra documentation effort when I handed her my birth certificate, marriage certificate, license and passport. Even still, everywhere on board that I used my SeaPass gave me a receipt saying "Margaret Davis." Seriously. It poured rain all day, until we finally got far enough out into the Caribbean. Andrea and I had drinks on the sun deck while the other two napped, and we had dinner and disco dancing that night before crashing around 1am. Our cabin was actually a lot roomier than we thought, which was nice, but the toilet is like an airplane one - if you're not careful, it will suck your bum down with it when you flush. (Aren't you glad I'm sharing all of this? You, too, can be prepared when it comes time for your first cruise.)

Saturday: Our attempts at sleeping in were for naught. We had breakfast, boarded the tender and headed to CocoCay, Royal Caribbean's own private island in the Bahamas. Heather and I rented mats that float and we laid in the ocean on those practically the whole day, laughing as we bumped into non-English-speaking people who didn't understand a) how difficult it was to steer those things and b) "excuse me" in English. Formal night was that night, and after Carrol's 17 outfit changes (by far my favorite part of the night), we had our pictures taken and enjoyed champagne with our dinner mates, Tony and Maria. Highlights of that day: CocoLoco, raisins and the cute little Indian girl who had on more gold jewelry than I own.

Sunday: Nassau. Maybe we didn't go far enough inland, but boy, it wasn't my favorite place. It reminded me a lot of Cancun, in that it had liquor stores next to Cartier next to cheesy tourist shops on streets all through town. Most places were closed since it was Sunday, and we never made it over to Atlantis or Paradise Island, which really didn't bother me much. Last night on the ship! We spent it shopping in the stores onboard, followed by drinks and dinner, then some late-night gambling. I didn't know how much I love slot machines. But I do. A lot.

Monday: In a nutshell, Monday went kind of like this: Get up, wait in line. Eat, wait in line. Play some gin, wait in line. Give Andrea the middle finger when she tells me my tan looks like vitiligo, wait in line. Pay $50 for my 57 lb. suitcase, wait in line. Laugh until I nearly split my side, wait in line. It was the longest travel day EVER, considering how not very far we traveled, but whatev.

Cruising isn't for everyone, I've discovered, but guess who it is for? ME! I loved it and am dying to take BB on one to Alaska. Enjoy the pictures...I'm sure when my brain recovers I'll have funnier stories to tell. Wanna see more pictures? Go here: http://picasaweb.google.com/elizabethbake/Bahamas2008.