It's an interesting idea...

Yes, Molly. We did offer ourselves up as human rotisserie chickens on Friday night. It lasted approximately an hour. We never saw the bride and groom (who were presumably inside the museum comfortably resting in the A/C) and we left when our clothes were so drenched that they weighed about 5 lbs. more than they did when we put them on. GOD. It was miserable. Poor girl having to be a bride on a weekend like this.

And so goes the weekend. Today the high is supposed to be 102, though I would venture to guess that it goes higher than that. Yesterday I almost gave myself a heatstroke by watering plants and walking to and from the mailbox - in this kind of heat, I don't think you should do anything except take cold showers and eat inordinate amounts of ice cream. I've done both, by the way.

You know what I haven't done? My table of links project that's due, oh, tomorrow. I'm in the process of teaching myself how to create a table using SeaMonkey, and I have, but it looks like crap and I've lost interest. So what shall I do instead? Blog about it. I put this project off as long as possible... I went to the outlets yesterday and bought shoes. I went to the movies and watched Sex and The City. PS, BEST MOVIE EVER. I cleaned out my closet. I did laundry. I watched shows off the DVR. I even took my Web Design book out to the pool today and splashed around a little. It got wet and is now as wrinkly as my shriveled fingers.

Then I sat down to actually do what it is that I was supposed to do this weekend and found that I'm much better at wasting time than actually using it wisely. I have decided that there should be some kind of award for Best Time Wasters Ever. And then we can waste time by having elaborate awards ceremonies, which we would've planned but were too busy wasting time to do. Genius. I am so much smarter than I give myself credit for sometimes.

There's also someone out there who deserves a little more credit than she gets, but it's not for the same reason. While she shall remain nameless, let's just say that Smarty Susie isn't quite as smart as she thinks she is. She might have a super-high-paying job and a fancy schmancy house in the big city of LA with a big diamond ring on her finger, but Smarty Susie just can't seem to get it together. Past Smarty Susie incidents include calling my husband by the wrong name, introducing me to people I've known all my life and saying not-so-nice things about people while they're listening. Her latest foray into the world of smarts is to write me a thank-you note for a party that I did not give her. Susie and I are relatively the same age, yet the letter starts: "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Baker..."

Well, Smarty Susie, the good news is that once I get around to planning the Best Time Wasters Ever awards, you will be the first recipient, my dear! Because that sweet little note you wrote me was just that - a waste of time. It was a nice thought, though, and I did get a good laugh out of it.

I'm off to table with SeaMonkey now. It sounds like a watersport, but sadly it isn't. I'll blog more tomorrow, I promise. I know you simply can't wait!